I know! Y’all are getting tired of the Dear Bryer Letters but it is my blog so read it and comment or get over it and move on. I don’t truly mean to sound so abrasive  but he is our only child (except for fur babies) and we were not finished growing him when he ran away from home. (Don’t expect any help from your local “PO-PO” if you report them as a runaway either, especially when they’re 20+.)  So, for that reason, I try to do a Dear Bryer Letter on a regular basis just to tell him the things that I think he needs to know and that we might have forgotten to go over while he was still at home.


Dear Bryer,

I’m not quite certain if we ever discussed the “how-to” of finding the perfect woman and since I expect you to eventually get married and produce us some grandbabies (we will discuss the birds and bees another time) you might need to know what to look for and where to find her.

the perfect woman

First, we should probably address the negatives.

In your search for the perfect woman everyone will try to tell you how to define perfect.

You see, if you look up the definition of perfect in your standard dictionary it will tell you “without flaws”, but who in their right mind would look for someone without flaws? I mean, if you want to marry someone that you can grow old with you also want them to be someone you can just grow with. Flaws are often what make us unique and often what one sees as flaws may be the very thing that others find attractive.

It will be necessary for you to define perfect for yourself.

Hollywood wants to define perfect, where women are concerned, as this overly plasticized stick with perky, silicone filled balls on there chest and duck lips.

Women who continuously starve themselves to please the eyes of others are rarely ever as happy as women who aren’t afraid to eat Macaroni and Cheese (not out of a box! The kind Paula Deen makes.) and know how to cook it. Look for a woman who enjoys being healthy, (she is going to need to be able to take care of herself, and help you raise all our grandbabies.) but who is also not afraid to enjoy life.

Hollywood perfect usually means they have no hips, hips are required for birthing babies.

You gotta look for a woman with a good set of hips.

Let’s just not get into the whole “Duck Lip thang” it wears on my nerves, besides who wants to be with a woman who you are not quite sure is about to quack or has just bitten into a bad lemon, I don’t get it?

Stay away from women who look like quackers, they probably are.

Your friends are going to define “perfect” different than you.  

You have a vast plethora of amazing friends, each unique and all very confident people. Your closest friend “The Brainiac” is searching through IQ scores to find his perfect. Your “Rocker Friend” is taking in the Musical vibes to find his perfect. Your “magic” friends are looking through kingdoms to find their perfect. You have friends who are searching the Shire, Middle Earth, the Dungeon and the Pokemon World for Perfect. Your “Clumsy Friend”  is already married. (She is nurturing! We think he found her at a Hospital ER) and your “Nerdy Friend” goes to Star Wars conventions. (I think he is looking for a statuesque R2D2, I pray he doesn’t bring home a Chewbacca.)

*Note to Nerdy Friend, If she is a Chewbacca, we will still love her! 

Each one of them have their own way of defining perfect and I am thankful and glad for their “style”. You have your own “SWAG” don’t let anyone else tell you what your perfect is.

Understand when picking your perfect, you can not just think about today, you have to think about all the tomorrows you plan on spending together. 

Do you have the same hopes and dreams? Do you have the same desires for children? (You want 7 to 12, right?) What about where you will live, how you plan to support a family not  just financially but more importantly Spiritually.

The world will tell you to look for a woman with a great set of Boobs or a nice A$$ or some killer Legs. But in reality, those things are only going to be around for a little while. Gravity happens,  And then you spend the rest of your days with sags and wrinkles and varicose veins and mood swings, hot flashes and…… you get the picture.

Don’t look to the world for your perfect. I know I have told you all the places not to look and some things to avoid but when searching for your perfect the bottom line is simple.

Look for the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with, Look for a woman who you trust to raise your children and to be there for you no matter what.

King Lemuel’s Momma gave him good advice:


Proverbs 31 The Message (MSG)

Speak Out for Justice

31 The words of King Lemuel,
the strong advice his mother gave him:

2-3 “Oh, son of mine, what can you be thinking of!
Child whom I bore! The son I dedicated to God!
Don’t dissipate your virility on fortune-hunting women,
promiscuous women who shipwreck leaders.

4-7 “Leaders can’t afford to make fools of themselves,
gulping wine and swilling beer,
Lest, hung over, they don’t know right from wrong,
and the people who depend on them are hurt.
Use wine and beer only as sedatives,
to kill the pain and dull the ache
Of the terminally ill,
for whom life is a living death.

8-9 “Speak up for the people who have no voice,
for the rights of all the down-and-outers.
Speak out for justice!
Stand up for the poor and destitute!”

Hymn to a Good Wife

10-31 A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
    The woman to be admired and praised
    is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
    Festoon her life with praises!

And don’t worry about the background check, the FBI investigation or the complete report on her entire family history and blood line,

I’ll take care of all that!

Love, Mom


…….. What is a helicopter Mom and why do people keep calling me that?